Arkhaven logoArkhaven logo
7,473
16,921,582
Login
  • Logout
Browse
Bingeable
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Rebel Dead Revenge
Rebel Dead Revenge
152 episodes
by Gary Kwapisz
The Devil's plan to destroy America with an army of fallen rebels lacks only one thing to succeed... a general of genius to lead them. Then Stonewall Jackson dies. The real story of the Battle of Gettysburg can finally be told, and this time it has zombies!
140378 views10686 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Cosmic Horrors
Cosmic Horrors
35 episodes
by Independent creator
From the depths of uncharted oceans to the heights of the mountains of madness. Join us as we encounter Herbert West, Dagon, and the warped inhabitants of Innsmouth as we uncover the cosmic horrors of H. P. Lovecraft and Cthulhu.
11826 views190 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Aesops Fables
Aesops Fables
80 episodes
by Independent creator
Aesops Fables are a collection of short stories that each contain a moral or lesson. These fables (such as 'The Boy who Cried Wolf') are known across the world. Aesop was a Greek slave who lived during the 5th century BC and either created or popularised existing fables, so their wisdom could be enjoyed by future generations.
33999 views833 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Gorgo
Gorgo
43 episodes
by Independent creator
The 1960's classic "big monster" movie Gorgo becomes a comic book with scripts by the prolific Joe Gill and wonderful art by Spider-Man creator Steve Ditko.
24747 views2004 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Three of Cups
Three of Cups
69 episodes
by Seashell Bear
What if life was the adventure? Rose has always wanted to be a bard. A musician who inspires emotions by infusing her song with just a thread of magic. The course seems clear. Attend Bardic College in Splendor, the biggest city in the Realm, and graduate their four-year course. It seems easy enough. Along the way to Splendor, Rose meets Bosra, a grey-skinned giant-kin woman who is leaving her adventuring days behind her. Most adventurers don't retire. They either die as heroes or become villains. She intends to enjoy the fortune she's made in the most luxurious place she knows, the city of Splendor. Valentina, princess, contemplates whether there is more to life than what she is accustomed to, when Bosra and Rose find respite to the coffee shop she spends her free afternoons at. One conversation leads to another, and before she knows it, she's encouraged to step out of her gilded cage. Until those who built the cage come to drag her back. A cozy fantasy story.
17674 views
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Bovodar & The Bears
Bovodar & The Bears
30 episodes
by Jack Mikkelson
What would you do if two angry bears came pounding on your door, demanding that you hurry out to meet them? That's the dilemma for Bovodar Yarkery, who is confronted one day with a gathering of bears who wish to carry him off on their grand adventure. Across hazardous deserts, through caverns, and far up through the forests into the cold North, there stands Kalas Hall, home of an evil polar bear lord, King Valemod. The path is long, perilous, and uncertain, but if Bovodar & the Bears succeed in their mission, untold glory and riches can be theirs... but only if they can overcome the dangers that await them. Written by Jack Mikkelson and illustrated by Mary MacArthur.
38565 views4768 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Chuck Dixon Presents: War
Chuck Dixon Presents: War
90 episodes
by The Legend Chuck Dixon
Chuck Dixon Presents: War! The grim and the glorious are presented in a classic four-color display, culled from the pages of the fightin'est comic books ever produced and drafted into service by comic book warrior Chuck Dixon.
70492 views10733 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Coneman Comics
Coneman Comics
90 episodes
by Snowyteller
In sweet snowy Elcon thrive wee conemen.
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Rebel Dead Revenge
Rebel Dead Revenge
152 episodes
by Gary Kwapisz
The Devil's plan to destroy America with an army of fallen rebels lacks only one thing to succeed... a general of genius to lead them. Then Stonewall Jackson dies. The real story of the Battle of Gettysburg can finally be told, and this time it has zombies!
140378 views10686 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Cosmic Horrors
Cosmic Horrors
35 episodes
by Independent creator
From the depths of uncharted oceans to the heights of the mountains of madness. Join us as we encounter Herbert West, Dagon, and the warped inhabitants of Innsmouth as we uncover the cosmic horrors of H. P. Lovecraft and Cthulhu.
11826 views190 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Aesops Fables
Aesops Fables
80 episodes
by Independent creator
Aesops Fables are a collection of short stories that each contain a moral or lesson. These fables (such as 'The Boy who Cried Wolf') are known across the world. Aesop was a Greek slave who lived during the 5th century BC and either created or popularised existing fables, so their wisdom could be enjoyed by future generations.
33999 views833 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Gorgo
Gorgo
43 episodes
by Independent creator
The 1960's classic "big monster" movie Gorgo becomes a comic book with scripts by the prolific Joe Gill and wonderful art by Spider-Man creator Steve Ditko.
24747 views2004 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Three of Cups
Three of Cups
69 episodes
by Seashell Bear
What if life was the adventure? Rose has always wanted to be a bard. A musician who inspires emotions by infusing her song with just a thread of magic. The course seems clear. Attend Bardic College in Splendor, the biggest city in the Realm, and graduate their four-year course. It seems easy enough. Along the way to Splendor, Rose meets Bosra, a grey-skinned giant-kin woman who is leaving her adventuring days behind her. Most adventurers don't retire. They either die as heroes or become villains. She intends to enjoy the fortune she's made in the most luxurious place she knows, the city of Splendor. Valentina, princess, contemplates whether there is more to life than what she is accustomed to, when Bosra and Rose find respite to the coffee shop she spends her free afternoons at. One conversation leads to another, and before she knows it, she's encouraged to step out of her gilded cage. Until those who built the cage come to drag her back. A cozy fantasy story.
17674 views
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Bovodar & The Bears
Bovodar & The Bears
30 episodes
by Jack Mikkelson
What would you do if two angry bears came pounding on your door, demanding that you hurry out to meet them? That's the dilemma for Bovodar Yarkery, who is confronted one day with a gathering of bears who wish to carry him off on their grand adventure. Across hazardous deserts, through caverns, and far up through the forests into the cold North, there stands Kalas Hall, home of an evil polar bear lord, King Valemod. The path is long, perilous, and uncertain, but if Bovodar & the Bears succeed in their mission, untold glory and riches can be theirs... but only if they can overcome the dangers that await them. Written by Jack Mikkelson and illustrated by Mary MacArthur.
38565 views4768 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Chuck Dixon Presents: War
Chuck Dixon Presents: War
90 episodes
by The Legend Chuck Dixon
Chuck Dixon Presents: War! The grim and the glorious are presented in a classic four-color display, culled from the pages of the fightin'est comic books ever produced and drafted into service by comic book warrior Chuck Dixon.
70492 views10733 likes
A tiny thumbnail of the cover art for the comics series Coneman Comics
Coneman Comics
90 episodes
by Snowyteller
In sweet snowy Elcon thrive wee conemen.
Around the Network
Stardew Valley’s Creator Said No To Infidelity In His Game
fandompulse — 39 minutes ago
Eric Barone, the solo developer behind Stardew Valley, sparked a brief media frenzy this week when outlets reported he was “open to” adding infidelity mechanics to his farming sim.
The Neil Gaiman Controversy Consequences: Good Omens Finale Bombs
fandompulse — 1 hour ago
Good Omens Season 3 premiered on Prime Video this week.
Guns of Mars 63
castalialibrary — 3 hours ago
A Martian action-adventure by The Legend Chuck Dixon
The Mare Lisette 2/3
juniorclassics — 3 hours ago
The second part of the thirty-fourth tale from The Animal Book
Alpha Failure Mode
sigmagame — 6 hours ago
An explanation for Trump's increasingly deranged social media posts
LLMs on Lockdown
aicentral — 7 hours ago
Both the US and the EU are determined to enforce government oversight of frontier AI models.
Straczynski vs. AI, Musk vs. The Odyssey, Slay The Spire Controversy - Fandom Pulse Daily Briefing
fandompulse — 15 hours ago
What a wild day.
Wednesday Arktoons
arkhaven — 16 hours ago
Seven new episodes at Arktoons!
Stardew Valley’s Creator Said No To Infidelity In His Game
fandompulse — 39 minutes ago
Eric Barone, the solo developer behind Stardew Valley, sparked a brief media frenzy this week when outlets reported he was “open to” adding infidelity mechanics to his farming sim.
The Neil Gaiman Controversy Consequences: Good Omens Finale Bombs
fandompulse — 1 hour ago
Good Omens Season 3 premiered on Prime Video this week.
Guns of Mars 63
castalialibrary — 3 hours ago
A Martian action-adventure by The Legend Chuck Dixon
The Mare Lisette 2/3
juniorclassics — 3 hours ago
The second part of the thirty-fourth tale from The Animal Book
Alpha Failure Mode
sigmagame — 6 hours ago
An explanation for Trump's increasingly deranged social media posts
LLMs on Lockdown
aicentral — 7 hours ago
Both the US and the EU are determined to enforce government oversight of frontier AI models.
Straczynski vs. AI, Musk vs. The Odyssey, Slay The Spire Controversy - Fandom Pulse Daily Briefing
fandompulse — 15 hours ago
What a wild day.
Wednesday Arktoons
arkhaven — 16 hours ago
Seven new episodes at Arktoons!
More
Store›Blog›Partners›Contact›
Knives and Bad History panel 1

Book 1: The Rebirth of the Aztecs


Chapter 3 Part 1: Knives and Bad History

Beatrice froze harder than a glacier going through a flash freeze. Drake also could see what she was physically hiding. Most men, even men in the pirate’s line of work, would’ve been too distracted by the assets on display to see the extra fabrike above the blossoming lingerie constricting her waist. Stoneman was more in a depressed state as the reality of his life came crashing down around him so the anomaly caught his attention instantly.


She hid the holster pretty well despite how little flesh was actually being covered. The first officer had been in this position before, and had practiced enough to be proficient. How many men had fallen victim to that hidden blade in the night? How many men had her employers blackmailed into killing?


Judging by the clientele aboard the mini cruise ship Drake doubted any of them really kept her up at night. She was the tool you used on pee pons who had outlived their usefulness. They still trusted the gifts you gave them even as the knife came sinking home. Many a Cohen type had met his end in the dark thinking they were about to have the time of their lives.


“If you knew why did you send me away when you were torturing the pedo?” Drake smirked at the question. She probably thought he’d been playing her into a trap like the late Captain fish food.


“Please, you’re an assassin not an interrogator. Did you ever stick around to study your handiwork? A knife in the dark is only messy to those who can see it,” Stoneman said while forcing himself to not be distracted by the overflowing femininity on display. He was male after all, and a man had to be significantly more depressed for a much more extended period of time to completely ignore a number fifteen dressed to kill. Literally.


“Usually I just poison them.” Beatris admitted in a small voice.

“That extra secret k bar says differently.”

“This is not a crappy knock off pressed bayonet from Kansas pirate,” the gorgeous woman whipped out the curved blade that was more tiger claw than knife,” This is a layered damascus steel karambit that is hand grounded to perfection. Do not sully fine art with a hunk of steel hammered by monkeys into something that only an ape could use.”


“And”, Beatrice dug inside her bra revealing a black and chrome switchblade with gold trim to the bug eyed surprise of the Pirate on the bed in front of her,” This is over a thousand yen worth of custom made fighter jet aluminum ready to carve you like a stuck pig if you think for a moment I don’t know the practicalities of a strait blade. These will gut you like the cad fish you are whether you’re at arms reach or on top of me.”


Drake stared at the knifes then back at the First Officer’s bosom. He had not seen that switchblade. He supposed size did matter in this case, and she had a specialized bra holster. Stoneman would’ve called the contraption a gimmick, but he’d only seen the karambit. And yes, he had assumed this pretty lady was larping a bit with the thing. The hooked blade was far harder to master than a practical straight edge. Now the pirate was thinking this lady knew exactly what she was doing. That should have made him pull his piece, or dive under the bed for spare falchion. Instead he just sat there like a lovestruck puppy over his empty dog bowl.


“Why are you looking at me with more hunger now than when I stripped?!” Shouted a very irate Beatrice who, despite waving a pair of knives around, seemed far less threatening than when she was melting down with a massive kitchen utensil in her hand. All Drake could do was shrug.


“Guess I just find a woman who knows her tactical knives so thoroughly sexy,” the Pirate said, feeling a bemused smile fill his face. His mother would not approve. Of course, she always thought he’d bring a nice girl home from the capital of Two Harbors to their ranch on Santa Rosa when his Marine days were done, and that memory threatened to ruin his mood even with the half-naked assassin chick in his cabin.


“Tell me how you know why I’d kill you if the Captain ordered it,” Beautrice said with emotion in her voice.


Drake looked at the woman, and thought most people wouldn't be too surprised if they saw her like this. Wild, disheveled, and ranting about her favorite knives you’d accidentally insulted, but she was right. It’s not like they were paying her bonus for seducing, and killing washed up assets and informants.


“Your real name is Beatrice Retief, I assume you kept your first name for sentimental reasons, you’re a South African Boer, and as best our research could nail down Captain Clint picked you up from a detention center in New Zealand. I imagine they weren’t going to deport you to New Rhodesia either.” Genocide was a nice term for what took place in the dark continent while the world was too busy blowing up what was left of the previous world order to care. Things took an unexpected turn when the white Afrikaners formed up in one last stronghold in old Rhodesia now called New Rhodesia.

They were a country under siege by the roving bands of nomadic tribes and warlords that roamed across the depopulated continent. Much like the original Rhodesia the world had turned on them or ignored them. New Zealand still had ancient old world power running the show, hence dealing with pedos on their ships, but it was better than being tortured and raped to death by a pack of savages if you could reach New Rhodesia which was understandably very leary of outsiders of all kinds.


More importantly, the shadowy government in control of much of the oceanic islands and the parts of Australia not gobbled up by China still insisted on sticking to the old political maps which meant a white Boar like Beatrice would be shipped off to the old South Africa territory where a multitude of tribes claiming to be the true descendants of the Zulus were busy rapping, and pillaging each other into dust. It was a death sentence. A gruesome death only limited by the given warlord’s imagination.


“Let me guess,” Drake continued while crossing his arms, and discreetly putting his hand on his sidearm,” Old chum face Clint would say knock this freak off, and if you don’t I’ll send you back to the killing fields?”


Beatrice answered by spitting into a nice glass flower vase on the dresser built into the cabin wall. Drake realized she didn’t want to sully the lush carpet or the solid wood floors of the cabin. He was sure the floor was made out of some fancy rainforest wood and the carpet woven by cupids on LCD to justify the outrageous price tag.


“Let’s be clear. I don’t care how many scumbags went on this boat, and became fish food. You can have your freedom. Pick a port, heck ask to go to New Rhodesia itself, and I’ll make it happen. I know people in the area that can take you inland. You’re a Boer. They’ll accept you," Drake said with his best official voice he used throughout his military service.


“No one would do that.”


“Well, I would...

The Story Will Continue Every Monday


Thanks for reading! Click the image below to go to my blog so you can be updated on future projects, and support the Grizzly Clan so we can keep the stories flowing.

Knives and Bad History panel 6
Diary of a Postwar Pirate series cover
Knives and Bad History episode cover
12K views • 253 likes
1 comment

Diary of a Postwar Pirate

Created by
author avatar
RPGrizzly
Good things coming soon. Subscribe options and flair are on the way.
It’s thirty years after World War Three. The world has changed. Borders have shifted, nations have died, empires have crumbled, and now new peoples and kingdoms have risen to take their place. In the midst of the upheaval Drake Stoneman finds himself discharged from the Republic of Catalina’s Royal Ranger Marines, and soon chooses a life of piracy. Stoneman soon finds that business is good for a man with his skill set. However, after being hired by an aging Aztec warlord to recover a prize from an abandoned old world facility Drake will discover if he still has enough patriotic blood left to save his people against the rising Death Cults and reforming Aztec Empire. Will the Republic of Catalina survive her infancy, or be just another kingdom lost to the dried bloodshed of history?
Mojitos Interrupted episode cover
Mojitos InterruptedEpisode #25
Global Ramifications episode cover
Global RamificationsEpisode #24
Hands in the Cookie Jar episode cover
Hands in the Cookie JarEpisode #23
Seagull Apocalypse episode cover
Seagull ApocalypseEpisode #22
It's Raining Tanks episode cover
It's Raining TanksEpisode #21
Bonus Sub Tank Acquired episode cover
Bonus Sub Tank AcquiredEpisode #20
Getting Paid episode cover
Getting PaidEpisode #19
No One Expects The Inquisition episode cover
No One Expects The InquisitionEpisode #18
Pirates Always Run From Responsibility episode cover
Pirates Always Run From ResponsibilityEpisode #17
A Trap for A Moral Rogue episode cover
A Trap for A Moral RogueEpisode #16
Babes and Barons episode cover
Babes and BaronsEpisode #15
The Hammer of Heaven episode cover
The Hammer of HeavenEpisode #14
Pirates in the Shadows episode cover
Pirates in the ShadowsEpisode #13
Angels on the Warpath episode cover
Angels on the WarpathEpisode #12
Another Job Another Dollar episode cover
Another Job Another DollarEpisode #11
The Jade Dragon and the Vampire episode cover
The Jade Dragon and the VampireEpisode #10
Blizzards in the Jungle episode cover
Blizzards in the JungleEpisode #9
Bela And The Trillionaire episode cover
Bela And The TrillionaireEpisode #8
The Assassin's Tango episode cover
The Assassin's TangoEpisode #7
Knives and Bad History episode cover
Knives and Bad HistoryEpisode #6
Murder Weapon Preferences episode cover
Murder Weapon PreferencesEpisode #5
Unexpected Guest episode cover
Unexpected GuestEpisode #4
A Sheepdog Running With the Wolves episode cover
A Sheepdog Running With the WolvesEpisode #3
Just a Little Piracy episode cover
Just a Little PiracyEpisode #1
Millstones episode cover
MillstonesEpisode #2
Knives and Bad History cover art
Knives and Bad History
389 views • 23 likes • 0 comments
List icon
(L)ist
Comment icon
(C)omments
Prev icon
(P)rev
Next icon
(N)ext
Fullscreen icon
(F)ull