Arkhaven logo

A Catalog of Regrets panel 1

Episode 61

A Catalog of Regrets

Thad Jones sat with his back against the rocks and catalogued his regrets as he watched the shadows lengthen down the slope that led to the floor of the coulee.

He regretted never learning to read as his mama wished he would.

He regretted not marrying that Mormon girl, ugly as she was, whose father owned a feed store and a livery in El Paso.

He regretted ever listening to the drunken Mexican who promised to find him a motherlode of silver deep in the Chisos.

He regretted not keeping his job running a monte table in back of the Dollar Store up in Eagle Flat in order to run off looking for silver.

He regretted believing that the spirit bag he bought from that old Kiowa at the depot would protect him from danger on the trail to where the drunken Mexican swore they would find silver.

And, most of all, he regretted underestimating the sheer, God damned, dogged patience of the Apache.

“There never was no silver was there, viejo?” Thad said to the Mexican lying unmoving on the sand in the dying sunlight. The Mexican lay staring at him with unseeing eyes. His vision wasn’t improved by a third eye; a hole drilled through his forehead by the slug that dropped him where he lay. His brains lay spattered on the earth from an exit wound in the back of his skull. A black cloud of flies buzzed about the spill.

“You was only looking for a grubstake and I was dumb enough to go along,” Thad said. And now, here he was, holed up at the head of a coulee with a single-shot rifle across his knees with a dead greaser for company and a party of Mescaleros waiting in the shade of the rocks above to make their move.

Down the slope were the three pack mules he paid for. His money also paid for the goods, tools, beans and rice and coffee strapped down on their pack frames. The Apache would get them all once they’d killed him. The mules munched on sage growing along the slope, tails and ears twitching at flies. Not a care in the world. And why should they have? It wasn’t them about to be roped down and skinned alive to provide amusement for the bucks awaiting behind cover of the rocks above.

“You all want the mules? You want all my goods? Come down and get ’em!” he called out, his voice ringing against the rocks that lined the wash that lead down into the gulch.

He repeated his offer in his piss-poor Spanish just in case they didn’t savvy American.

No answer from above. Why would there be? They could have his packies and all they carried and some fun with a white man as a bonus. All they needed to do was watch and wait.

Thad drew a dry tongue across cracked lips and stared at the cloth-covered canteen hanging from a post on one of the pack frames. His skin was hot, and he stopped sweating hours ago. Even in the growing shade of the rock, he was beginning to feel feverish. Fifty feet down the slope lay all the water he could ever want to drink. It might as well have been in China.

There was no bargaining with these Mescaleros. They had him cornered with time on their side. His offers came unanswered. Hell, they probably used his hollering to cover them moving to get a better angle on him.

A fella who claimed to an Indian fighter once told him that the Apache don’t hunt or kill at night. Something about the soul of any man or critter they killed after dark becoming a ghost who’d haunt them all their days. Thad called horseshit and double horseshit on that. A little thing like the sun going down was not about to curb the bloodlust of these bastards.

But even if that was the pure-D truth, it meant these bucks had a deadline. If they were going to come for him, it’d be before the day ended. The sun was already down behind the rocks. If that Indian fighter wasn’t packed tight with shit, they’d be moving on him soon. There wasn’t much he could do to stop them. The Remington rolling block he held across his knees loaded one cartridge at a time. He might, might, get one shot off before they jumped him. Even if he hit one of them, it’d only serve to make the remaining bucks more angry than they already were. They might make it their purpose to see that he took days to die.

That thought sent a chill over him. His mind recoiled from unbidden images of himself slung upside down over a fire or staked out for ants or any of a hundred torments these sons of bitches might visit upon him. And all the while laughing at him as he shrieked his prayers and pleas and promises to God almighty.

One round from the rolling block could end that.

That was his last card to play. He couldn’t stop them taking the mules. He could keep them from making a party out of killing him. Him blowing his own brains out was the only edge he had on them. The last laugh.

He repositioned the rifle to place the end of the barrel under his chin and reached a hand down to depress the trigger with his thumb. Only the barrel of the Remington was too long. He couldn’t quite reach the trigger. Best he could do was brush the tips of his fingers against the trigger guard.


THE SIDEWINDERS runs daily from Monday through Friday on Arktoons.




A Catalog of Regrets panel 3
A Catalog of Regrets panel 4
The Sidewinders series cover
A Catalog of Regrets episode cover
35K views2K likes
4 comments

The Sidewinders

The Legend Chuck Dixon explores the Wild West, with epic tales of gunfighters, frontier justice, savage Indian tribes, and even more savage outlaws.
About a Job episode cover
About a JobEpisode #84
Go In Peace episode cover
Go In PeaceEpisode #83
No Marshal, No Jail episode cover
No Marshal, No JailEpisode #82
An Avenging Angel episode cover
An Avenging AngelEpisode #81
New Folks in Town episode cover
New Folks in TownEpisode #80
In Search of Mr. Thaddeus Jones episode cover
In Search of Mr. Thaddeus JonesEpisode #79
Limited Lodgings episode cover
Limited LodgingsEpisode #78
New Arrivals episode cover
New ArrivalsEpisode #77
Making the Rounds episode cover
Making the RoundsEpisode #76
Shocking Behavior episode cover
Shocking BehaviorEpisode #75
The Danger of Tedium episode cover
The Danger of TediumEpisode #74
The Silk Hat episode cover
The Silk HatEpisode #73
Eagle Flat episode cover
Eagle FlatEpisode #72
Balderdash and Codswallop episode cover
Balderdash and CodswallopEpisode #71
The Misplaced Spines episode cover
The Misplaced SpinesEpisode #70
Dress for Dinner episode cover
Dress for DinnerEpisode #69
A Guest of the Manor episode cover
A Guest of the ManorEpisode #68
Gleam of Sunlight episode cover
Gleam of SunlightEpisode #67
Thieves and Squatters episode cover
Thieves and SquattersEpisode #66
A Miserable Excuse episode cover
A Miserable ExcuseEpisode #65
The Terrible Lizard episode cover
The Terrible LizardEpisode #64
The Blackpool Train episode cover
The Blackpool TrainEpisode #63
The Grinning Visage episode cover
The Grinning VisageEpisode #62
A Catalog of Regrets episode cover
A Catalog of RegretsEpisode #61
A Mutual Passion episode cover
A Mutual PassionEpisode #60
The Unvarnished Truth episode cover
The Unvarnished TruthEpisode #59
The Gurkha's Shovel episode cover
The Gurkha's ShovelEpisode #58
Under a Harvest Moon episode cover
Under a Harvest MoonEpisode #57
Too Late to Damn episode cover
Too Late to DamnEpisode #56
The Death of Mercury Wells episode cover
The Death of Mercury WellsEpisode #55
A Figure in Black episode cover
A Figure in BlackEpisode #54
The Riders Strike episode cover
The Riders StrikeEpisode #53
Breaks in the Line episode cover
Breaks in the LineEpisode #52
The Edge of the Fiery Pit episode cover
The Edge of the Fiery PitEpisode #51
All Damnation Riding episode cover
All Damnation RidingEpisode #50
Empty Wagons at Dusk episode cover
Empty Wagons at DuskEpisode #49
The Angry Sky episode cover
The Angry SkyEpisode #48
Breathing His Last episode cover
Breathing His LastEpisode #47
The Price of Madness episode cover
The Price of MadnessEpisode #46
No Backing Down episode cover
No Backing DownEpisode #45
Riders of the Twisted Tree episode cover
Riders of the Twisted TreeEpisode #44
The Ground Trembles episode cover
The Ground TremblesEpisode #43
Rage and Fear episode cover
Rage and FearEpisode #42
News from the Capitol episode cover
News from the CapitolEpisode #41
The Limping Man episode cover
The Limping ManEpisode #40
The Reckoning episode cover
The ReckoningEpisode #39
Say a Prayer, Cowboy episode cover
Say a Prayer, CowboyEpisode #38
The Killing Starts episode cover
The Killing StartsEpisode #37
Worse Than Expected episode cover
Worse Than ExpectedEpisode #36
Cursed for a Fool episode cover
Cursed for a FoolEpisode #35
Answer to a Prayer episode cover
Answer to a PrayerEpisode #34
You'll See Jesus First episode cover
You'll See Jesus FirstEpisode #33
Cowboys and Irishmen episode cover
Cowboys and IrishmenEpisode #32
A Man Without a Gun episode cover
A Man Without a GunEpisode #31
A Storm is Coming episode cover
A Storm is ComingEpisode #30
The Bounty of the Lord episode cover
The Bounty of the LordEpisode #29
More Law Than We Want episode cover
More Law Than We WantEpisode #28
Ten Bucks per Conviction episode cover
Ten Bucks per ConvictionEpisode #27
Kings of the Jungle episode cover
Kings of the JungleEpisode #26
Don't Kick a Dog episode cover
Don't Kick a DogEpisode #25
The Majestic episode cover
The MajesticEpisode #24
Convictions Where Necessary episode cover
Convictions Where NecessaryEpisode #23
Sober as Sunday episode cover
Sober as SundayEpisode #22
Liquored Up episode cover
Liquored UpEpisode #21
Pools of Blood episode cover
Pools of BloodEpisode #20
In God's Hands episode cover
In God's HandsEpisode #19
The Devil Coming With Me episode cover
The Devil Coming With MeEpisode #18
Sudden Fury episode cover
Sudden FuryEpisode #17
The Scotchman Didn't Lie episode cover
The Scotchman Didn't LieEpisode #16
Paradise episode cover
ParadiseEpisode #15
A Man with Sand episode cover
A Man with SandEpisode #14
The Scent of Money episode cover
The Scent of MoneyEpisode #13
The Hand of a Righteous Man episode cover
The Hand of a Righteous ManEpisode #12
Devil's Freight episode cover
Devil's FreightEpisode #11
A Losing Fight episode cover
A Losing FightEpisode #10
Building an Empire episode cover
Building an EmpireEpisode #9
No Holy Man episode cover
No Holy ManEpisode #8
Blood Christening episode cover
Blood ChristeningEpisode #7
Guardian Angel episode cover
Guardian AngelEpisode #6
High Tide episode cover
High TideEpisode #5
Night Raid episode cover
Night RaidEpisode #4
Man and Boy episode cover
Man and BoyEpisode #3
A Gang of Mongrels episode cover
A Gang of MongrelsEpisode #2
The Wagon Train episode cover
The Wagon TrainEpisode #1
,
List icon
Comment icon
Prev icon
Next icon
Fullscreen icon